Denial
by crooked-soul
Summary: Will Remus finally crack? Lupin and Tonks oneshot just because I love them. Fluff


**Just a bit of fluff, hope you like**

**D: I don't own any of it, cause if I did I would be rich :)**

Denial

I stirred a little, feeling incomparably warm and comfortable, I couldn't even remember where I was but I knew that I had just slept better than I had in days. I stretched out my legs only to have them collide with another set of legs and I realised that I had a pair of arms wrapped securely around my waist and my pillow wasn't my pillow at all, it was a man's chest! _Oh horrors, what did I do?_

Wait, no, I knew those arms, and that chest, I knew every bit of the body I lay snuggled against...

__

Remus!

In a flood of realisation everything that had happened the night before hit me. I had been crying, half out of grief for Sirius, the one decent relative I had in the miasma of purebloods that made up the Black family tree, and half out of fear for what was coming, when he had found me. It was as though he had known instinctively where I was and that I was upset. He didn't even say anything but the look on his face was enough to break my heart all over again and he just held me, for hours, he just held me and I remembered now how comforted I had felt, how safe. I realised now that we must have fallen asleep like that, I vaguely remember asking him to stay once I started to nod off.

I smiled to myself and immediately stilled against him, hoping that he wouldn't wake up, that I could enjoy the feeling of being in his arms just that little bit longer before he pulled away again and we resumed our silent battle of wills. I felt myself getting a little irritated already when I realised that if he could just stop trying to be so stupidly noble, it could be like this always.

I sighed and couldn't quite resist the urge to snuggle closer to him, breathing in his familiar scent but as I did so I felt his grip on me tighten unconsciously.

"Dora.." he mumbled into my hair, his breath tickling my neck, I felt as though fireworks were exploding inside my head, my chest suddenly felt too tight, I knew that he was half-asleep, I knew that if he had been awake he would never have reacted in this way, that he would probably be on the other side of the room if he had the choice but I couldn't help it as the feeling of elation and...and.._hope _spread through me like wildfire. Before I could allow myself to think through my actions and what consequences they might have, I twisted in his grip so that we were face to face. His eyes were already beginning to flicker open and purely on impulse and undeniable desire I took his face in my hands and kissed him.

His lips tasted sweeter than anything I've ever known and mine couldn't help but become more insistent, especially as I began to feel him respond with an urgency that only equalled my own. I started to believe that maybe, just maybe, this would be it, this would be when he gave in, when he realised that he was being silly, _when he finally admitted he loved me..._

But dreams, it seems, are meant to be short lived as in the next moment he had pushed me away and quickly got up from the bed to stand in the corner furthest away. He shook slightly, his eyes rooted firmly to the floor, his breathing a little heavy like mine. I realised I had made him angry but couldn't find it within me to regret what I had done, it had simply been too perfect in those small moments when I had kissed him and he had kissed me back.

I groaned and fell flat on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as I waited for him to shout at me, berate me for being so unthinking and once again list the reasons why we could never be together. It took me five minutes to realise that in fact he didn't seem to be about to say anything, let alone shout, I sat up quickly, scrutinising his expression, his eyes were still glued to the floor.

"Remus?" I asked hesitantly, his eyes snapped upwards instantly, his gaze holding mine, it was another slow moment before he spoke again, my heart was already pounding.

"This doesn't change anything, I'm still too dangerous Dora and you deserve more than a washed up wreck of a wizard" the intensity of his statement silenced me, though my brow furrowed out of annoyance. He gave me one last lingering look and then broke our gaze, heading towards the door and I knew things would just go back to the way they always were if I let him and I hated that, I even hated him, as much as I could, for messing everything up the way that he had, for complicating things.

"Remus, wait, please, can't we at least talk about this like rational adults because I am sick and tired of having to walk on eggshells around you. I love you, can't you understand that, as much as I hate you for your stupid pig-headedness, I damn well love you and that's not just going to go away. Especially when I think you love me too." He froze, his hand just reaching towards the door handle but seeming to realise his defeat, that he would have to face this sooner rather than later, he let his arm drop to his side and turned around to face me.

"I have explained things over and again to you Tonks, this isn't going to happen. I am a _werewolf._ I can't just play happy families, I could _hurt _you if I let myself get close enough." he said calmly, though I could sense the thread of frustration wound through it.

"And _I _have explained to _you _over and again, you wouldn't hurt me, people have been with werewolves before, it doesn't mean anything, there's even the Wolfsbane potion now, the werewolf-you would be completely docile so stop using that as an excuse. It doesn't matter to me, I simply couldn't love anyone else, and don't give me that crap about me deserving someone '_whole' _" I said when I saw he was about to interrupt, "No-one else is good enough, only you can make me happy Remus" my eyes bore into him, silently pleading with him to just give in, I could already feel tears coming.

"Please..." I whispered, getting up off the bed and walking towards him.

"Damn it Tonks, don't look at me like that, its for the best" he muttered as I got near, something inside of me snapped at that moment, maybe I had never been worth it, maybe he had never loved me, I had just misinterpreted what had been meant merely as friendly gestures.

"Fine!" I screamed at him before retreating back into the corner of my room and curling up on my chair, my hands fastened tightly around my knees, tears streaming down my face, "Just go Remus, I won't force my company on you any longer" I saw him sigh and turn towards the door before I screwed up my eyes, irrationally not wanting to actually see him walk out of the door, there was a dull ache in my chest as I wondered what on earth I would do, perhaps Voldemort would kill me, then at least Remus wouldn't have to deal with me any more and I wouldn't have to deal with seeing him everyday knowing he would never be mine.

I heard a slight noise and opened my eyes, _surely Remus was long gone, maybe Molly had come to comfort me? _But what I saw in front of me wasn't Molly's kindly smile, it was Remus, his face inches away from mine, he looked at me nervously before his hand slowly reached out and wiped away the trail of tears. I immediately relaxed my grip on her knees, letting my feet fall softly to the ground as I leaned into his touch.

"What am I going to do with you?" he said softly, I knew it was meant to be rhetorical but I answered anyway,

"Whatever you want" I mumbled, still basking in the fact that he had stayed. Before I knew it he had pulled me gently from the chair, bundling me against his chest and then he leaned down and kissed me. Instinctively my hands knotted themselves in his hair, drawing him closer, his lips moving softly against mine but slowly becoming more insistent and I let a small moan of pleasure escape from my throat. His arms tightened around me, giving in to everything he had been denying himself for so long. He gently moved me backwards without breaking the kiss till he had me pinned against a wall. He deepened the kiss for a moment before pulling away slightly, I felt a flash of fear that he would reject me again but he immediately appeased it.

"I'm sorry Dora, for everything, I was trying to protect you but only ended up hurting you more and I'm tired of trying to deny it all. I love you, so much" he seemed to watch then as my hair noticeably went a couple shades brighter, all traces of mousy brown disappearing into bubblegum pink. He chuckled slightly, seemingly pleased in a somewhat egotistical way that he could have this effect and happy that my hair was back to normal.

"I love you too Remus" I said with a wry smile, he smiled back at me and leaned in to kiss me again.

**Make me happy..review! pretty please**


End file.
